Chuck Norris' real name is Carlos

Chuck Norris' real name is Carlos. Seriously, look that shit up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_norris. He changed it to Chuck because he didn't want anyone to think he was Mexican. Who could blame him? Karate champions cannot be Mexican. Walker, Texas Ranger, cannot be Mexican. Is it gay to want Carlos Norris to nuzzle my forehead with his grizzly beard and then deliver a fatal roundhouse blow to my chin? That sounds pretty goddamn fucking awesome.