MLK is proud of me

I think 99% of the population is stupid. I get so caught up in the stupidity of others that my own idiotic moments go by the wayside. I would be remiss if I failed to make a correction about the Xanax thing: Yes, I'm addicted. Yes, I'm trying cut back. Yes, I was going through withdrawals. But one of the symptoms originated via an impetus other than the Xanax cessation: The diarrhea. See my fridge broke the other day. Not having a fridge is worse than not having air conditioning. Especially in Florida, when you're riding a 100 degree plus heat wave. Naturally everything in there went bad. Had to throw out a whole mess of shit. It was a bummer. When it initially occurred, a broken fridge was almost beyond my realm of comprehension. I remember going about my daily morning routine, which involves protein shakes and Redbulls (awesome). I also grabbed my delicious Bolthouse Farms mocha cappuccino protein drink. It's caffeine and protein in one drink. I challenge you to come up with a more awesome combination. I had to accept that my fridge was broken because my normally delicious, ice-cold Redbull was lukewarm. I drank it anyway, but was far less enthused than usual. At work, around mid morning, I mix black coffee and the Bolthouse. Which is milk based. Which was sitting in my inoperative refrigerator overnight. I was drinking sour milk. THAT'S why I was so gassy and pissing out of my asshole all day. My dumb ass didn't know notice it smelled funky because the taste was disguised by delicious cocoa and coffee beans. I shit like 5 times that day. My asshole is still raw. None of the movements were solid. The best part is I didn't realize this until the next day. I had some of the drink left over. I went to smell it and the fucking thing stunk; I can't believe I drank that shit. Jesus Christ what the fuck? How can someone knowingly imbibe sour milk? Those sort of mistakes freak me out, cause what happens when I really fuck up? I can be totally oblivious but quite observant all at the same time, so when I miss, I tend to miss big. The funny part is I've had sour milk before. I was eating Golden Grahams and it just tasted so, so horrible. I spit it and went to chug the milk to get the bad Golden Graham taste of my mouth. Yeah, it turned out the way you might expect. I went to friends house later that day and he had a slip and slide, remember those? It was so hot out and the water was so refreshing and the hill was so steep. . .it was a shame I had to shit in my bathing suit when it was my turn to go down. I had more brown following me than Martin Luther King, Jr. I think he would have been proud. . . .