The fuck is wrong with people?

The following is an actual email that was sent to a friend from a dude who works out at our gym.


-----Original Message-----
From: C____
Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 1:41 PM
To: Darwin, Timmy
Subject:

C___, I know your not interested in me, but I am curious as to why everyone has been alienating me at the gym(Lifesyles)? I am guessing competition. I feel as though everyone has made me a freak, without even knowing me..
I don't mean to brag, and I can't believe I am telling you this, but I have slept with around 17 or 18 women. I have been in a long term relationship of 3 years in college.. The two long term relationships I lost due to work, I work alot!! I enjoy my job even though being a contractor is cut throat.
I know I don't know you, and this is strange.. What are the people saying about me, Take off the gloves and please don't hold back. I am an adult I can take it.. PLEASE let me know what seams to be MY MALFUNCTION..
PLEASE RESPOND BECAUSE I AM CURIOUS.!

D____
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T


I know what your malfunction is. You're fucking crazy. Cuckoo for Coco Puffs. A good old-fashioned psycho. Competition? At the GYM? That's fucking INSANE. What on Earth are people competing for? Natural resources? Is there a fucking untapped lake of oil under that incline bench press? Or do you just consider every workout to be a Mr. Olympia contest? If so, I'd hit the juice if I were you. You seriously believe people, who you've admittedly never spoken to, are trying to freeze you out? "I don't mean to brag but. . ." Dude, you're twenty seven. Sleeping with eighteen girls (I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt) at your age is not a high number, so I guess you really are not bragging. If started banging girls at age seventeen, and averaged two girls a year for ten years, you'd have fucked twenty girls by now, so you're a little behind pace, but kudos for your honesty. And if you disengage from the minutiae in this bullshit and look at it from afar, it almost sounds as though it were written by someone whose first language is not English. And on drugs. It's like you inadvertently let your inner-most thoughts fall out of your head andl land onto an email. And what do you want to hear? "Yes D____, you're right. You've uncovered the massive conspiracy and everyone at the gym hates you. We all secretly hangout together, talk shit about you, and wish you'd cancel your membership, because we are overwhelmed by your intimidating physique, now kill yourself" (but if you don't, a little advice: try to hit the legs more often). Or did you want C___ to pump you up, and say, "No, D____, I think you're a really, really cool guy with excellent genetics, and you're just misunderstood. Don't be upset, because I'm the one person who can see you for who you really are, which is a deep, introspective, kind, selfless, and loving soul. I want you to sire my offspring." I hate going to the gym. Not the working out part, I enjoy that, but the whole "gym experience" is what disgusts me. Everyone is pretty much like this dude: sizing people up, staring them down, comparing themselves, judging. . . there's a palpable feeling of desperation that adds 25 lbs. to everything I'm trying to lift. I can't speak for all gyms, but at this one, I feel like everyone is there for the wrong reason. It's like happy hour. Women all wear makeup and guys wear faggoty workout gear, and eye-fuck the shit out of the women. I told my C____ she can borrow my .45 semi-automatic. You never know. Remember the fucking crazy who shot up that gym in Shittsburgh? He was the same kind of guy: isolated, reaching out, yet constantly rebuffed. He blogged incessantly about his social ostracizing until he couldn't take anymore. Then he took matters into his own hands and opened fire on a Body Pump class. At least he saved taxpayers the inconvenience of a trial and blew his brains out. It's scary to think that we are surrounded by so many defective human beings. In this day and age, anything can happen. We must be aware of the signs. Constructing a message like this is utterly inconceivable to me, and you. This can hopefully only arise from the bowels of a deviant mind, because God help us if this is what the average man is thinking. . .